When you try your best, but you don’t succeed
When you get what you want, but not what you need
When you feel so tired, but you can’t sleep
Stuck in reverse
And the tears come streaming down your face
When you lose something you can’t replace
When you love someone but it goes to waste
Could it be worse?
Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you
Come fix me……. lights out*
you know sometimes i wish there’s a button i can press. A terminal button that’s what ill call it. A button that shuts down the body system when you feel you just had enough–enough of everything that has been pulsing through your brain. enough of rushing through everyday like there’s no tommorrow. it just reaches a point you’re in a blurry of things but you do it for the sake of doing it. It doesn’t quite sink into you. This’s when e terminal button comes into handy. its not suicide. it’s just tearing yourself away from life and coming back more revitalised than ever. Someone should invent that. Don’t forget to give credit to the originator yea?
saw the fireworks at my house just now. notice s’pore has been setting off fireworks ever so often recently. the beauty of it still remains captivating and i surely could not suppress the "wow’ that escaped my mouth. (ya mountain turtle whatever) But its becoming too much of a normality. every small event and there’s a display of fireworks. where’s the specialy in it then? My friend’s birthday is coming up. Maybe we should set off some fireworks don’t you think? i reckon we should just save the pretty sparks for significant occasions and not commercialise it into a couple’s destination( and im not being cynical).
Yesterday, tee left for melbourne to study. I must say our friendship is really one entangled mess. I don’t know what state it has become. It’s really complicated but i just wish her all the best for her future. and dear girl, your wish to be a star has finally eventualised. hope you realised that even though it was something you could not saviour for long. hard not to comment, there was one throng of "fans" waiting for you at the airport. i was one of them =) was joking with my buds how e business of all e shops were going to flourish and itll come out in the papers the next day…
i’m sure everytime this kinda sending off happens, people can’t help imagining what if they were the ones leaving. tee was thinking e same at su’s departure and she now knows e ans. tt certainly preoccupied my mind this morn as i tried hard to concentrate on my work. firstly, ill be friggin scared. what’s to come in my whole new environment, my whole new life is uncertain. im not one who adapts easily so ya that may be a prob initially. Then comes the "will there be as many people thought". ha i thought of some people that would really please me if they turned up (*wink)… but seriously, i came to a conclusion that if i ever had a departure "party", there’s no need for many guests. but one thing i certainly want to see is tears. im not being sadistic and neither do i relish watching people cry. but its the thought of how you’ve impacted people in your 17 yrs of existence that will really touch me. the knowledge that you may have known them for some time but mangaed to reach into their hearts and made an imprint. that will be the best gift ever. and when i board that plane, i will certainly shed a Nile-river of tears!
lights out*
aaRRGH!! im so mad. i was in the middle of my entree when i accidentally pressed the wrong button and the whole thing got wiped out! now i have to start all over again… sheeSh! tech can be such a pain sometimes…
alright speedy is the way to go or ill be late for dim sum dollies later! yup ill be catching though i missed the 1st one( heard it was really entertaining). and i signed up for front of house for it too so ill be selling dim sum tees….. on weekdays and weekends. Thus, my busy schedule never fails to reload after certain tasks have been checked off and as long as sherene lives, so will her eyebags and wrinkles…
i shall now begin to rail how much im intolerable of irresponsible people. Don’t ask me what let up to this sudden distasteful declaration but seriously, it’s my pet peeve. everyone does a little procrastinating sometimes; or simply try to escape from minor duties. I should know. "Later" used to be my favourite word back in those days. But i believe certain tasks come with the tagline "you can run but you can’t hide". And what better way to counter it by doing it right? well my pw group of people did just the oppsite from which really upsetted me. i shall obliterate the details but let’s just say we met up the next day, with 1 member less as she was going away on holiday, and got things straight. Whether my words hit home or not, it certainly turned out to be the most productive pw meeting in history. At the end of it, i was contemplating whether to shout in jubilation or cry due to the pathetic state we had been stuck in for so many weeks…
many things have been going on. one of sorts is my attempt to sign up for the new balance real run and was initially quite freaked at the prospect of entering a nation-wide compe for the first time all alone ( as there were some probs). but all has been settled and i now have the comfort that ill be at the starting line with a few of my odac mates. Unfortunately, the guys intend to "chiong" so we’ll all reach the finishing line at different timings. i’ll make it there….eventually. just get stretcher ready yea? and van, itll be good if you call the ambulance in advance too 
Luckily, all suicide attempts have been reduced to zero due to the sane side in me saying that itll be good if i settle for e 5.5k this yr and not be overlly- ambitious…..yet.
CONFESSION:i have not been doing my reg runs due to time constraints or simply laziness…sigh…
my elder sis is being a pain in the ass recently.. you know my friend believes that the older you grow, the closer you get to your siblings. My sentiments are otherwise but i shall tell you more another time…
tmr is n’day and ill be wearing a racial costume to school! i haven’t done that in a long time since pri sch as my sec sch does not undertake such a ‘tradition’. or rather we were just not so ‘on’ to participate. i hope e other people in school will do the same too but sadly i doubt it.
this entree is posssibly the shortest due to my lack of enthusiasm having to write it for the second time… and ya i have to rush for dim sum.. to be con’t… lights out*
i just realised how wordy and long my one entree is… ha i do apologised but i just can’t seem to find the time to blog on a daily basis? so my recent entries would contain happenings that occur 1 week ago that i was bursting to tell but had no time to. So much for blogs being daily journals… but nonetheless, ill write if you’ll read (and i still will if you don’t=) )
i made a list of to-do things. and one of them was to be the first girl to get to the top of the rock wall. That was big enough a motivation for me and i was all set and ready to attempt the gruelling climb to the peak during the next opening of the wall. Unfortunately, it rained on tues and i had left for home when the sun came out. So i decided to go for a run. I just hate pented up energy going to waste…
The following day (wed), i had planned to JUST DO IT! haha like it was that simple. But yea i tried…hard… but when it comes to my arm power, my determination wavers along with all thought. So as expected, i did not succeed. What made me feel even lousier was when 3 people reached the top that day. Plus, i heard that the 1st girl made it the day before. There i was standing like a dwarf, belittled by the towering wall and one by one they all crawled up making it look so easy! I was nonetheless happy for them (trying my best to supress my inner bitterness and self-disappointment). No sour grape should i be! But seriously, it sucks to watch people can while you can’t. And i’m a goddamn perfectionist who does not take well to failure. i know failure is the mother of success but somehow i take it like a punch in the face. It’s funny but self-satisfaction comes to me in trickles. A little pat on the back, a little gloating (when i feel evil) , a little tick off my to-accomplish list— but really it ends there. It’s the setbacks that really bug me and sometimes barricades form that hinder my progress. Perhaps my new motivation would be not to be the last girl to overcome the wall..Yea reckon that will keep me going…
You know how words can turn your feelings a whole 360 degrees? well the first set of words lifted me up for a while… allowed me to indulge in my fantasy. Then the second set of words came and snipped the cord i was attached to, causing me to plummet back down to reality and lend with a crash.I’m alright now. No major injuries. No deep scars or bruises. Just a small prick in my heart…
speech day went well. it was nice catching up with my sec sch pals who i haven’t met in such a long time. and my golly people DO change.let’s hope it’s for the better… MRS CHEE was e coordinator! wah high post eh? behind every man lies a woman— behind sherene lies mrs chee! well she’s the reason why my love for chemistry evolved… unfortunately, im not taking the subject anymore. Just indulging in the other (if you get what i mean)…
SA dance concert yesterday was great. VJ dance was the guest performance. I couldn’t help but notice the stark difference ( not like i haven’t) between the people in SA and prob AC and RJ too compared with schools i know in the east. The girls were more dressy, outrageous, wilder, louder. Everywhere spotted pretty faces. Not pleasant. Pretty. God knows how many layers of make-up concealed their face or how much time they took to get dressed. Or perhaps, to give them the benefit of the doubt, they did possess innate beauty. most of them stood out in their own way. The guys were decked out too, mostly to impress. Metros were not uncommon and many found no qualms in forwardly oogling at the girls. Sheesh* where’s the self-control man? It would have been much more different if it was a concert in VJ or TK… shrugs*
what can i say. diversity embraces this world. And i? For now, ill embrace the many ambitions and aspirations that drive me along….. to be superwoman =) lightsout*
have you ever felt like crying but you can’t find the reason why? have you ever felt a rush of emotions, so strong, that it seemed to belittle the cause of it? That was exactly how i felt yesterday. We had odac elections to nominate our chairwoman (yes im sexist and it really turned out to be a girl) and vice-chair plus the re-elections of all the other posts. I thought all the chairman norms were v capable and i was highly impressed by their dedication and passion to the club. It came down to 2 guys with almost tie votes and eventually e guy who was supposed to get vice-chair( cos he was e 2nd in-charge) did not get the post. I felt sympathetic and sad for him particularly because i could see how much he wanted e post. and slightly guilty as i changed my vote for him at the last min…
its funny but a dark cloud seemed to have sheltered my head… i just felt sad and insecured and scared all at once… particularly because i knew it wouldnt be impossible if i ended up in the same position as the guy in a couple of minutes… when it came to elections of the air chieves(my post!), the teacher announced that there would only be 2 this year unlike last due to a decrease in duties. And it came as a huge surprise to the club probably because we 3 air- heads(excuse e pun) were dearly hoping we would secure the position. Turned out i had to compete with my fellow air partner for e 1 position. And it was then that i felt so strongly about being an air chief. I never wanted the post initially. Rock climbing and abseiling were nothing but merely outdoor activities to me. But from the past few months as e provisional air chief, i’ve learnt so much from everything. Ive learnt that rock climbing is not simply just a time to scale heights, but a journey of self discovery, perseverance, strategic thinking and trust in others. The times i shared with the rock climbing club, which was a newly started club who shared diplomatic relations with odac cos we share equipment!, the tues with rock wall when i felt i had a share of odac to shape,tending e flying fox and watching people freak out trying to conquer their fears…EVERYTHING! i was not ready to let it all go… but at the back of my head, neither did i want to let go of my fellow air chief partner. to top it all e chairwoman of e rcc wrote the air chieves a letter and gave us a gift to say her parting words in case any of us did not make it..it was so touching and sincere i felt even worse after tt..when we left the room for the votes to be tallied, i had the strong urge to never return but despite this, i did what i had to do. im not sure if it was relief that showered me when i re-entered e odac rm to see my name on e board. i felt really sorry for deb though…
odac is getting better for me. China and England are still dominating, with strong advocates on both sides. However, ive found England and that’s what all that matters. China has tried to impress its cultural practices upon yours truly but i have and will always stick to my roots. So both countries stand frim and unwavered with the only possible merger to be under the name of odac.
had my chi oral on wed. it went real bad despite my efforts to suck up and heed my friend’s advice by putting on a ginormous smile. i wrecked everything e min i started conversing with the invigilators. For one, i did not even know what the hell the topic was clearly about. So i had to guess and ended up beating round the bushies with ’suo yi’ linking every part of my sentence together so much so that it formed a long chain of gibbering which left the examinars so perplexed e lady’s brow was forrowed to the depth of the mid-atlantic ridge and the man was trying hARD to control his head from shaking by giving me a less than reassuring nod every now and then. I felt like an alien trying to speak Greek while be scrutinised by the lab workers. I was desperately trying to sustain a dying conversation, invisible hands swapping at all sides for the right words to express how i felt. Unfortunately. all i caught was a mixture of O2,N2,CO2 and noble gases. It got so bad that when the examiner hinted and questioned if i had anything else to add, i thought he was asking me what skills i had in relation to the question. And i gave a longer then expected pause, which prob served to deduct marks by the seconds. and punctuated my traumatising experience of conversing in a foreign lang with a sheepish "no" and a forced laugh. The examinars laughed back in relief …………….lights out*
It’s a school night but im up and intending to go late tommorrow. Why so? Cause im dead tired and my lack of sleep has accumulated from the sleepover i had 2 weeks ago to last weekend’s overnight camp at school. This probably contradicts the very fact why im still stirring in the middle of the night when i should be tucked snug in my nest. Well, life’s full of contraries…
To wreck my already tight schedule, i intend to go for e GC concert tommorrow. Gone were the days where i tried means and ways to sneak in. I’ve now resorted to sitting ouside like a loser and waiting for some kind soul to pity me and exchange his/her ticket with a gargantuan smile of mine in return. That’ll really make my day… and trust me, it has happened before…
I just love concerts. Live performances beat listening to songs on the stereo… no matter how loud you turn it to be…or how much you try to jump up and down or psyche yourself up. The adrenaline rush, the fact that you can scream your head off without being heard, the way you can simply let lose in front of everyone knowing that you wont be accused of going senile because everyone’s doing the same. i embrace the feeling!Sadly, my passion for music and concerts does not overwhelm reality which spells "NO MONEY"… or perhaps me being too cheapskate to indulge in what i love… so i sit outside and belt my hearts out like a lunatic while ecstasy lies but a glass panel away…
Today (or rather yesterday since its early in the morn now) was hilarious. In fact, my group of friends and i are just getting crazier. We seem to rattle the canteen with our outburts of laughter everytime. Pretty soon we’ll not only be known as the VJ’s hyenas but probably will have to bear the cost of the dilapidated canteen. heh yes it’s that bad. We were going on about the 100 worst deaths for Ryan (all morbidly linked to how he dies while gardening!). It all started during lit when Mr. Annal (ok im not being mean here. i tell him that straight to the face too…but it’s all in good humour) declared how he wanted to die doing something he enjoyed. That’s when gardening came to the picture which followed with him tripping over the hose in his stilettos and landing on a cactus. ouch* how twisted it got! and now come to think of it, sounds really warped… to die in a place blossoming with life in an almost inappropriate fashion( mind the pun). shudder*
I have to add something pleasant that happened during the weekend. It was the project X we had for odac which left all of us zombified. Nonetheless, i found the minute circle of people who shared similar sentiments to me and spoke the same language as me! English! 3 cheers! i especially enjoyed sitting at e swing chatting with keshi. honestly, we were 2 strangers who shared a common feeling, bond, whatever you want to call it. and randall came to join us which made 3 strangers. We swang on the infamous vj swing and managed to sustain a repartee despite the fact that we were brain-dead in the dead of the night . It was really funny swapping at each other’s faces, though once again, it was all in good humour. My skin tingled and i wasn’t sure if it was the chillness of the night or simply the refreshing experience of truly having a good laugh with the odac pple. i was finally enjoying myself and getting the jokes! Nat and Christine joined us later and we left the swing as friends, no longer strangers. i have to admit segregation in the club is a huge problem. but for that matter, it probably occurs everywhere else too.when there is a group of people, there’s bound to be cliques. c’est la vie…
This is really RANDOM as what my friends always say.but i’d just like to say my recent pet peeve is when people don’t reply smses. I just think it’s highly irresponsible of them. Plus the feeling of a conversation dangling in mid-air just sucks. And i’m not being unreasonable but not replying my questions is taking rude to another level. i doubt it’s the fact that im being pesky or irritating cause i rarely pester people and even if i do, i know who to be a sponge to (bet mic is smiling at this)… so it just leaves desperately wanting to save smses or basically being ignorant. I believe its the latter for misers do exist (and unfortunately our paths have crossed) but the latter seems a more apt explanation for human nature. Ijust wish people would care more, give a little thought. especially for those i don’t get to talk to often.. For the very least, do it because it’s only polite to reply when someone questions… even if you’re hiding behind the screens of technology…lights out*
its 1245 and guess what? im having a lil midnight snack.. its my all time trusty cereal.. banana nut crunch this time… my fav despite the fact that it gives me lock jaw… i recently have been snacking a lot but what can i say? i embrace food! but hey i exercise too yea…
today i tried studying in e lib with my frens..unsurprisingly it wasnt too fruitful but always a good catch up time i must say… saw so many familiar faces there… with my enthusiastic hi and their not-so-spirited acknowledgement of my presence.. sheesh but nonetheless, familiar faces are good… accept for some id like to punch or rather avoid.. no points for guessing who.. anyway i couldnt resist the raspberry frappe as usual and ive recently adopted a new obssession for the ‘kettle chips(honey flavoured)’ they sell at starbucks or 7-e… my fren introduced it to me and its one of the best chips ive tasted… you can actually taste the potato and the honey flavouring (or my mom likes to spoil it and say MSG ) on the golden brown crisps.. de-licious!sadness.. if there’s anything that will make me bankrupt, its my affinity of things that make my tastebuds tingle (and that means all go down and out soon)
rushed home for tennis lessons and i performed well today(despite the ominous sky)! yaY! for once i wasnt staring at my coach’s helpless face but one that was smiling and ever so often showing me the thumbs-up sign. man it felt good… im really interested in tennis and hope to perfect the strokes soon… though no aspirations of being the next sharapova or williams…i must commend my tennis coach here… he’s mrs tan’s husband so its pretty shocking he’s into sports while she’s "diva" of the art in tk.. small size old man who looks like he plays lawn golf as a pastime but REALLY he’s as fit as a fiddle and plays tennis like a work of art..plus he indulges heaps in other sports too.. funny man with a trunk load of experience to share..and says i have runner’s legs how flattering! shall put them to good use after all that eating…
said enough… im quite screwed for my mids.. there’s just too much to study! loony syllabus..i just wish the lit department went ahead with the no exams thing.. what’s stopping them? Anyway, after so many years of exams and tests, there comes a point in time when they dont matter as much as they used to…
so there! i must say this is quite an optimistic entry compared to the previous ones.. maybe its because i ,for one, have not been provoked or upsetted today.. or rather yesterday… so dear life, be good to me and ill stay good =)……………………………………………………….lights out*
It’s been a long time since i blogged and im wondering why im doing it since no one reads. due to convenience and perhaps privacy to express and curse however much i want, i have resorted to a little burn book i now keep. i save e nicer things for here and the evil stuff for there.
well, i basically want to say how much this group of people (though not big) have been keeping me afloat all this while. it’s sad that we are not physically close as reality deprives us from the opportunity to be so. But to simply hang out with them or just have a short conversation; an sms; a testimonial; is comforting enough for me. Yesterday, i felt so down due to circumstances. And i desperately needed to talk to someone. so Mic popped into my mind.I have been terrorising her life quite a bit recently with all that impromptu visits of mine to her house. She gave me the company and encouragement i needed and stayed with me emotionally throughout the day. (the beauty of sms sometimes)
today, i brought up the idea of going camping with the rest and mass-msged the gang immediately. and they all replyed sooner then expected. like people calling in hotlines to win prizes. only thing, there was no prize at the other end of the line. simply to answer my overzealous sms. But i somehow felt comforted by the quick response. My life currently engages friends or rather acquaintances who take ages to reply… sometimes i even forget ive sent out the msg.. other times, it doesnt matter if i had sent it or not..time wanes the enthusiasm…qy was super psyched like i was but sadly jo couldnt make it.. and van even bothered to call me… so we talked and met later for a jog..
i have never jogged for so long in my life.. i usually do a 2.4 n call it a day.. but jogging with a companion really helps ive come to realise… it gives you rhythm as you pace your footsteps with your partner so that they coincide , determination not to stop and make the other person slow down or wait for you and mutual understanding. you give yourself a suitable pace so that neither you nor your partner lags behind… and like two weightless girls we ran. the welcoming breeze refreshing our bodies once in a while, our breathing audibly coherent yet steady as we went along. Once again, i felt i could go on forever. But it was not the adrenaline rush that pumped my muscles as it did sometimes when i went for a revitalising run after a long time. It was just a steady hum and the ground moving below me that kept me going. And van. We ran for about 25 min so it must have been 4.2km or sth… then van thought me some cool down exercises. It’s amazing for someone who has not ran in such a long time. To have the determination to keep up and the stamina to sustain. To still be able to impart knowledge in me despite the many years abstaining from running. It was just like the good old days when van 1st thought me the right way to run and helped me to realise i had the potential to do so.
We sat and talked for about an hour plus after that. And staring at my friend of 12 yrs now, i realised how much she has changed. maturity had definitely set in with the disadvantages that came along with it. The incessant worry if one is not the right weight and embarrassment that kills the pride of any adolescent. I smiled as i saw my friend open up more than she had ever done so in our 4 yrs together of sec school. The tables have turned as she talks and i listen. I somehow didt feel so confident of my voice. So i pricked up my ears and be the listener instead.
A sense of warm and familarity comes back to me like it always does. I dont feel awkward when it comes to these people. It’s smiles and 100% me. i don’t stop to think of ways to escape. I don’t entertain the voices in my head telling me how ostrasized i feel. They know me like how they should and make me feel included. and significant like i should feel. Ever since i left sec sch, the people i met just made me feel small. by leaving me out unintentionally but nonetheless. by not giving me the response that sets me at ease. by making me just feel uncomfortable. I realised that VJ is a gd school but along with it comes high achievers or the highly achierved. among my grp of friends there’s no commoner. Everyone is BIG in this and that. And thus my achievements to them are infinitesimal. I feel like a horribly untalented kid who can never stand out in the vast ocean. i came in with the impression i could outshine others and prob would if i hadnt quit hse comm… but i did… and im left with a cca im having prob with…my studies will never ne tops…why does it matter?…
my dream sch has brought upon lotsa disappointments.. nth good has happened since i stepped in.. and things just get worse.. so where does the emotionally beaten up me go to at the end of the day? to seek refuge from my 4 saviours… michelle(mother of saviours who takes as much shit from me as it comes), joanne( the source of true laughter and joy), qy( the angel i know who will be there for me and never leaves the room) and vanessa( my all time bud from all sides and aspects). We admit to each other the worst things, show each other our worst sides… i wish we could live in an orb together..haha..
ill be truly crushed if anything were to happen to the pentacle bond we share… particularly cos it means so much to me.. its my life now.. nth much i can hold on to otherwise…sad but true.. so i hope our camping trip will be fun.. hopefully itll bring some smiles to my life and help me remember what being sherene was like =)
well things have reali lightened up from ydae to todae… i finally told nicholas and yong sheng(e hse caps) that ill step out of e hse but will be willing to offer any help if they needed. and then i told the rest of the comm norms… they told me to think twice but the decision was already made as ive been running this through my head since i started as a norm.. e comforting part was that i found out that 2 of the other norms(who i can work best with) also thought of quitting but "i got there 1st" according to them..haha they also said they really hoped the 3 of us could get in together (before i mentioned im gonna take flight)…
on the whole, it all went well.. i really have to thank the caps and rest of the norms who made it clear at the end, it was my decision… =)) double smiles for double happiness.. i climbed e rock wall and went the highest..haha.. i hope this is gdbye to the dreary depressing days.. my heart feels a ton lighter—less worries,reminders, grienvances…
tmr or fri will be the elections where the norms go out to give a speech.. and itll be official that im no longer present.. i hope people will understand and not see it as an act of selfishness or stupidity.. otherwise they can go screw themselves..=)
free period now.. its break and i bet mak’s loitering somewhere in school…doodledee… went sentosa with my dearie pals on mon and it was a great breakaway from doing the usual stuff.. i find that we juz get closer and closer.. i can open up to them so much.. in fact i want them to hear me out… i don’t know what ill do if i hadn’t had such peas in a pod with me… though our group seems to be dwindling, i hope its existance never extincts and in 20 years down the road, we’ll be chilling out at some coffee place sharing experiences about life and memories that we sharded.. ill remember in answer to leann rimes’s "please remember"……. lights out*
Obsessions in my head
Don’t connect with my intellect
It’s called obsession
Can you handle it?
It’s connected to the hip sounds
And it moves with the underground
It’s called obsession
When you’re around
~suede
It’s been a long time since i blogged.. long time since i came online for that matter… sports day is finally over and i got a degrading position for my 100m and a less degrading one for my 800… nevertheless, it’s liberation when reality daunts on me that it’s ALL over… i’m supposed to be reading my uncomprehenable geog notes now.. something that has piled to a heep the height of mt mayon and it’s reaching everest soon.. but im feeling horribly distracted, agitated and restless like i have for the whole of this week and probably the weeks to come…
i feel like a time bomb, ready to explode.. its not just tension or angst or whatever shit that teens go through that’s inside me… its like when potassium reacts with water or something and vigorous effervescence is observed. aha i still remember my chem! it’s funny cause this turmoil which ill compare to a circus building up inside me and about to erupt all stays within the seemly calm exterior that i portray. or at least to those that don’t know me well…
i’m quitting house comm no matter what… i have this strong dislike for someone which i so never felt before… i have a great obsession with one that bears my identity… i have the constant urge to shit even though i wonder what i ate wrong… you see, maybe im merely entering the emotional part of puberty… is this how it feels like to be a wretched teen (wretched is a adj of my life)?.. don’t get me wrong i have my fair share of smiles and laughter… but at the end of it all, i just feel devoid of happiness and perhaps an undescribable whirlpool of emotions and thoughts that will soon amount to a tornado… it’ll be Singapore’s 1st natural disaster… hmm writing is not as liberating i thought it would be…
here i go scream my lungs out…*
the only consolation i have is ill be at my kuz’s house warming party later and tommorrow ill be meeting my other halves at sentosa for a day of sun sea and fun..i hope.. EFF all the worries,dump them all behind… im gonna have a good time, get out of my mind… lights out*
